We often overlook our own strengths, especially when they feel easy or instinctive. You might brush off a “thank you” for organising a team event, solving a tricky problem, or listening when someone needed support. But these are often the very skills and qualities that set you apart—and that can guide your career decisions.

How to Do the Exercise

Set aside some quiet time with a notebook or your phone and reflect on these questions:

• What do people most often thank you for at work or in your personal life?

• What compliments do you receive, even if you tend to shrug them off?

• Are there tasks or ways of helping that people seem to rely on you for?

• Have you noticed any patterns in the feedback you receive, formal or informal?

• When have you been told you made a difference, and what was it for?

• What do others say you do better than most people?

• Are there strange moments when people seek you out for advice, support, or help?

• What qualities or skills do people highlight in your performance reviews or casual conversations?

• Have you received unexpected thanks for something you thought was “just part of the job”?

• What do friends or family members appreciate most about you?

Write down every example that comes to mind, big or small. Don’t dismiss anything as “just being helpful” or “not a big deal.” The things that feel effortless to you might be exactly what others value most.

Using Compliments and Thanks to Guide Your Career

Once you’ve gathered your list, reflect on how these strengths show up in your work and how you might use them more intentionally as you make career decisions:

• Recognise your unique value. The things people thank you for are often unique strengths that you bring to your team or workplace. Embrace them as part of your professional identity and look for little opportunities to tell people these are the things you are good at.

• Seek roles and projects that let you use these strengths. If people thank you for your ability to explain complex ideas, look for opportunities to teach, mentor, or present. If you’re appreciated for your calm in a crisis, don't start crisis'.  Instead look for the roles around you that have peak times and unexpected requests, or in which steady leadership or problem-solving might be a great fit.

• Don’t underestimate what comes naturally. Just because something feels easy to you doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. In fact, these natural talents are often your most sustainable sources of satisfaction and success. (look back at the last article on Flow).

• Ask for feedback. If you’re not sure what people value, don’t be afraid to ask colleagues, friends, or mentors what they see as your strengths. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see yourself more clearly.  In fact this is something I would recommend you do every month with someone new (ie a different colleague or a stakeholder).

• Let your strengths guide your decisions. When considering new opportunities, think about whether you’ll be able to use and develop the qualities people appreciate in you. This can lead to greater fulfillment and impact in your work.

Again, this is the third in a series of seven exercises to help you reflect on your career journey. If you missed the pervious ones on what you loved as a child and Flow activities, jump onto my LinkedIn profile to catch up.

As always, wishing you a flourishing career.

Katherine